Scattsblog Star Wars: The Force Awakens exclusive!!

Thanks to my mysterious connections to JJ Abrams, Disney and various script writers I’m able to bring you snippets of dialog to go with the images already released.


Stormtrooper 1 – “Eh, Mike! What do you think?”
Stormtrooper 2 – “Space Mountain, what a joke! Nemesis at Alton Towers was way better!”


This new droid will be known as Ad-D2-das. Originally designed to deliver bungs to Fifa officials in hostile territory it has now been adopted as the mascot of the Rebel Alliance.

Desert girl

Princess Freon – “Fridges R Us – how can I help you?”
Customer – “I’d like the giant rusty one please. Can you deliver quickly?”


Princess Freon – “On my way!”


Stormtrooper caught short in the desert realises he simply doesn’t have enough time to remove the rest of his suit.

Light Sabre

Bad Guy – “Is that Sam’s Light Sabres? Listen, I though you guys told me you’d fixed these leaks!!”


Luke Warmwater – “Definitely….shouldn’t….have…mixed….my drinks….last…..night!”


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