According to a survey by the TV channel Gold, age 38 is when men start turning into their fathers. That seems incredibly young to me and for sure I was nowhere near my father at that age. Heavens! I should have passed my father and be turning into one of my grandfathers by now, which by all accounts wouldn’t necessarily be a step in the right direction! The good news is that, whilst my father does display some of the behaviours listed (1, 2, 5, 6, 8), I don’t appear to be following in his slippered footsteps just yet.
Top ten signs you could be turning into your father:
1. Fall asleep in the front room – can’t blame my dad as he’s over 80 and in my case this has been known to happen but very rarely and only after poisoning myself with vodka.
2. They have ‘a chair’ – My dad’s chair is looking a bit tattered recently but still going strong. It’s like the captain’s chair from the Starship Enterprise and everything he needs is within easy reach. I have no place that is strictly speaking mine although there’s a crater in the sofa that matches the size of my arse pretty well.
3. Dad dancing – neither of us do silly dancing and I was awarded a prize for Greek dancing, by Greeks, I’ll have you know!
4. Spend time in the shed – neither of us have a shed. Well, dad does have a shed but he spends no time there. Uncle Eric was the nearest we got a shed guy.
5. Making awful jokes that only they find funny. – dad can stray into this territory but in his defence they are occasionally funny. I can’t remember jokes thanks to my highly selective memory. I guess I just don’t think they are important enough.
6. Don’t know any artists in the top 40 – as far as I know dad’s musical bleeding edge moment peaked around the time of Adam Faith. I’d say I’m doing much better. I just checked the charts and I know 10 of the top 40 singles artists and 20 of the top 40 album artists.
7. Spending longer on the toilet – can’t say I understand this one, certainly doesn’t apply to me nor my father.
8. Keeping an eye on the thermostat – mum is the thermostat and dad just deals with the mechanics. In our place I set the thermostat and then don’t play with it more than twice a year.
9. Excited about appliance sales – we are both more excited by travel brochures, dad the paper version and me online.
10. Embarrassing younger members of the family or children and thinking it’s funny – thankfully not a family trait.
All that said, there have been times recently when I pay attention to myself and realise that I already have turned into my father. Hardly surprising and something to do with a new fangled thing called genetic engineering.
The full Independent article.