Will everyone please stop being incontinent!

It has been a moderately frustrating week at work with assorted things not quite going the right way at the right time. Mostly trivial stuff but annoying, especially when they seem to be grouping together and forming a gang of annoyance that squats under my desk and occasionally bites my kneecaps.

Every cloud has a silver lining though and when I got this email today I was chuckling for the rest of the afternoon.

My apologies for the incontinence Ian.

Dear all, Please fallow to correct instructions:

This from an IT guy who was responding to a request I made to our IT boys in Warsaw to grant some of my people access to a folder on a network drive that is in the UK. He sent a mail granting them access to a different folder, I pointed out the error and the above was his reply, followed by the correct instructions.

A Polish guy but, according to his email signature, a Polish guy in Birmingham, UK, our currently favourite location for relocating jobs to. Brummies being known to occasionally have a sense of humour I expect one of the natives has given him the phrase “apologies for the incontinence” as being the right thing to use when you make a mistake.

In case anyone is reading this and not understanding:

Incompetence: noun – inability to do something successfully; ineptitude.

Incontinence: noun – inability of the body to control the evacuative functions of urination or defecation.

Tomorrow, do I point out why he might not wish to use that again or let him carry on?

PS: I’m ignoring all the other problems contained within those very few words but feel free not to take my lead.

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11 thoughts on “Will everyone please stop being incontinent!

  1. Yeah man, you gotta have good rapport with your peeps if you want to control your shit and avoid a security mess. Maybe you should have a team-building teleconference with Birmingham, during which you could also discuss crop rotation.

  2. I have over the years had about 2,000 Polish employees. The guy tried hard, I personally would give him a call about his incontinence in a fashion that is appreciative for him trying. He clearly used a dictionary and used a word that was incorrect but at least he gave it the old college try.

    As long as you make it positive and ‘growthful’ the conversation should work fine and create a bit of a bond between you.

    And finally I have seen many Yanks and Brits who spell worse that him!

  3. I sent the guy a mail. Not sure I want to try calling him as his phone numbers are stated as (for both desk and “cell”) +1 234 567 8910. Gotta be something dodgy, right? I checked and 234 is not the code for Birmingham, Alabama and his email tag is UK.

  4. He does. Which makes all the weirdness more disturbing! ;)

    His response to my mail just arrived:

    “Ian, That email will be printed and hanged on the wall next to my desk :D

    All the best”

  5. Ian , That’s like the newbie Metro train driver (in Newcastle)who was instructed to announce to his passengers that the train was to terminate at the forthcoming station, came out with this gem…..” Will all passengers please Ejaculate at the next Station?” :-)

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