Tuesday, November 27th

It’s all been a bit quiet at Strangely Park in recent weeks. The Fitness’ have been away for a couple of weeks as have Penthouse and Slightly Dangerous who return the end of this week. We know of their plans because we’ve been trying to organize a trip to the roof of our building and there are only two ways to get there; firstly through the penthouse apartment, onto the terrace and up the ladder or secondly through Starbuck’s apartment onto her terrace, up a ladder to penthouse terrace and then as per route one. Both these ladders being fixed as opposed to ones you bring with you. If there was a roofwise emergency and both these residents were away we would have to “kombinuje” something, as they say here, meaning make it up as we go along.

Starbuck is really going for this remodel of her place. The workers have been around recently, as I mentioned, and on occasion we’ve had a good view into her apartment. Demolished. Very few walls left standing as from what I understand she is completely changing the layout of the place. Be interesting to see it finished, which I was told will be February, maybe March….so let’s call it May. Anyway, there seems to be no rush.

The builders have set themselves up comfortably though. They’ve commandeered the War Room in the basement as their site hut and got it all laid out with sleeping, eating and drinking areas. This is the room used for the “Annual General Meetings” when everyone with some skin in the Strangely Park game get together to argue about stuff. The last one, the only one we’ve attended so far, lasted many hours but did not result in physical violence, which is more than can be said about previous ones!

The format is quite simple, the chairperson introduces each item to be voted upon, all of the Invisibles (residents committee members, of which there are three we never see plus Florence Nightingale) vote for the motion, the Chosen Ones who have bothered to attend vote according their pledged allegiance (generally to the Invisibles) and representatives of The Evil Empire vote against it. In 99% of cases this means the Chosen Ones win because although The Evil Empire has a lot of voting rights it is not quite enough to swing the vote their way. This farce wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the fact The Evil Empire bring along their pet Rottweiler’s in the shape of a legal guy and a hyperventilative lady who used to be their administrator when they wore the trousers around here. This means every, and I mean every single motion, is subjected to a cross questioning that makes the Nuremburg trials look Mickey Mouse.

“Proposal 6b is to spend 512 zloty on cleaning the windows”

“We object!”

“Why?”

“Because on the 8th March three of our windows were dirty. We insist that the window cleaning company go back to March 8th and clean these windows immediately!”

“So that’s it?”

“No. We also think 512 zloty is a crazy price. We know a guy who will do it for 23 zloty and when we were in charge it was never more than 50 zloty a year.”

“Anything else?”

“We think the window cleaners should wear white uniforms because it goes better with the décor.”

“Okay so let’s vote then.”

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