Spike was my mate. He lived in the guest toilet, AKA my toilet (when you have three toilets and three residents things get a bit parochial) and we were getting on pretty well until recently. He’s gone. Not been seen since just before Christmas. My guess is that the cleaner murdered him, sucked him up the vacuum tube or just squished him in cold blood. Not nice. Not at Christmas anyway, time of goodwill and all that.
He was one of those spidery spiders with a tiny body and long spindly legs, a bit like ‘Other Mother’ in the film Coraline only much nicer because he didn’t try to drag me into the air vent and sew buttons into my eyes. He didn’t move around too much, just hung around on the ceiling by the air vent, fresh air being important to survival in my toilet. I have no idea what he ate as there’s a distinct absence of flies or other spidery treats in my toilet. Can fumes contain chunks meaty enough to satisfy a spider’s appetite, I wonder?
Every morning I’d go visit him and we’d chat about all sorts of stuff. He didn’t say much but he was good listener. He sometimes liked to venture a little away from the vent, once he even went all the way across the other side of the room although it’s not a big room it probably felt like an adventure to him.
If you could have got close enough to him you might have detected a lemony scent. That’s from the air freshener I sent in his direction every day. He didn’t seem to mind though, in fact I think he quite enjoyed smelling different to all the other spiders.
On a more optimistic note, as he did vanish just before Christmas, there’s a possibility he was a wise spider who saw a star in the night sky while peeking up the vent and decided to leave my toilet to follow it. He might have joined up with two other wise spiders on the way and been part of the spider kingdom’s version of a nativity scene with Mary and Joseph spider caring for the baby Jesus spider in a soft web somewhere in a dark corner of the garage. Spike would have brought lemon scent instead of frankincense so maybe I should have been calling him Balthazar? I guess the others brought the gold and myrrh. I suppose later El Greco Spider will get to work on his “Adoration of the Magi” masterpiece and Spike will be hanging in the Spider-Prado.
Anyway, whether he’s dead or about to be a really famous spider, I wish him all the best.
Bye, Spike. I miss you.