Kino magnifico!

As I was waiting outside the most depressing shopping centre in Warsaw the other day, Fort Wola, I noticed the banner in the photograph below over the entrance doors.

Fort Wola is the kind of place that people who have lived averagely bad lives go to die. Purgatory here on earth. A pointless, run-down, stinky place where nothing ever happens except the odd case of food poisoning. Old people go there to buy some rajstopy and are never seen again.

They should tear the place down but I suppose as a last ditch attempt to attract a few normal people they have opened a brand new “killer” attraction – Kino 5D Extreme!

The mind boggles as to what exactly 5D extreme kino is all about but in fitting with the centre itself my guess is that it involves you sitting in a lice infested old armchair rescued from a skip while one drunk reads you a story, another flashes a torch in your eyes and a third shakes the chair around a bit. They will hope you don’t notice the missing 2D.

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2 thoughts on “Kino magnifico!

  1. ROFL! I just hope the excitement doesn’t cause the building to implode. This reminds me of one of the skating rinks I used to visit that smelled like 30-year-old popcorn and everything inside was torn and mismatched.

    You should go inside and give us a report from within! Or if that’s too iffy, interview the ones coming out (hee hee).

  2. “sitting in a lice infested old armchair rescued from a skip while one drunk reads you a story, another flashes a torch in your eyes and a third shakes the chair around a bit”
    brilliant!

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