This could be an exceedingly long post but I’ll just concentrate on the latest complete waste of time, money and energy – the shape-shifting chicken toy!
For something like 15 zloty you can pick up one of these in any high quality toy shop. What you get is a plastic egg with some holes in the top, an egg-shaped blob of plaster inside and instructions. You pour water through the holes until it covers the plaster blob. You then set it aside and watch in wonder over the following 2-3 days as the plaster dissolves leaving behind a surprise creature. The egg has a very handy hook for clipping it on your trouser belt loop. Not sure if you’re supposed to do that before you put water in so you show off a lump of plaster or afterwards so you can get your trousers soaking wet? Anyway, the creature ends up squashed inside the egg with no way out, screaming for mercy! Our three days were up today and so I took a hammer to the plastic to get the poor creature out and see it in all its glory.
We were expecting a chicken and although it is very hard to be sure, we think we got a duck. The thing is disgusting to touch and smell. It has one eye, a broken neck, distorted wings and only one leg. The is the “Elephant Man” of ducks, only worse! The only humane thing to do is throw it in the trash and vow never to be fooled by those “Grow your own whatever” toys again!
I really have no idea what this toy is supposed to deliver in terms of either entertainment or education? Difficulties that can occur during pregnancy? The effect some drugs can have on developing foetuses? How to humanely dispose of sick animals? At very nearly six, I don’t think Zosia is really ready for those kind of lessons!
Whoever made these idiotic toys should be forced to recall them all and give every customer 15 zloty’s worth of children’s book instead.