Browsing the news briefs I find in my mail each morning can be quite a hoot!
This morning, my biggest chuckle came courtesy of Poland AM –
SOLIDARITY EXPRESS Kraków-Warsaw-Gdansk. Multi-event/city project celebrating the 25th anniversary of Lech Wałęsa receiving the Noble Peace Prize, with the participation of the Dalai Lamar and possibly Michał Gorbachev
I don’t know why I find the trio of Lech, Dalai & Gorby so amusing, but I do. Looks like they are trying to form a club for eccentric people who used to be major news, still have pulling power but are not quite sure where they stand in the scheme of things. Surprised Ken Livingstone didn’t get an invite. Maybe it is Nobel winners only in which case why no Tutu, Kofi, Mandela, Jimmy or Al?
Who is this ‘Lamar’ person they speak of anyway? I’m torn between the former star of BBC’s “Fame Academy” – Lemar and the spiritual/political leader of the Tibetan people – the Dalai Lama. I’m guessing it’s the latter but in such mixed company, who’s to know?
Second biggest chuckle was this one;
There will be no mass returns of migrants from the British Isles. Due to the weakening of the pound, experts previously estimated that 400,000 Poles living in the UK would return to their homeland. However, the tide has turned as the currency has stabilized and, “They prefer to sit out the crisis in the UK as the situation there is more predictable.”.
This comes a day, perhaps two, after reading the exact opposite story in a UK newspaper. The Poles in the UK must by now be the most talked about bunch of immigrants the world has ever seen, most of the chatter being about two things – 1/ are they good or bad & 2/ are they coming or going!
That’s the trouble with the news right now, events are moving so fast that nobody can keep up. The real, current, situation of any company, country or person is blowing around like a plastic bag in a hurricane. Whatever you write today is bound to look stupid tomorrow. No, hang on, they just wrote that the Poles are staying in the UK because the situation there is more predictable. Bwahahaha!
Look at Poland for example. Seems like only yesterday that Poland was one of the best economies you could be involved with in these troubled times and a country little affected by the crunchy-melty thing. Then Hungary goes tits-up (anyone know why that happened?) and so our friends the financial boys slap a huge red “UNSAFE” sticker on the whole of Central Europe (just in case!), the zloty runs for the hills, the stock market slumps even further and voila – pretty much the same mess as everyone else has!
The relentless malodour from the bad-news-hungry media is really starting to tick me off. Every day the same sensational, nonsense, sodding headlines trying to find the worst possible angle on an already bad and deeply confusing situation. They must surely be running out of adjectives by now. Well, they are, because today has seen an influx of meteorological terminology. Just looking at the last few hours of RSS feed headlines from “BBC Business World Edition” I have – recession, falls, massive cuts, …to close, plummet, recession fears, crunch, slash, turbulence, like a tsunami, perfect storm, cut staff, falls despite…………and so on.
Goodness only knows where they go from here if things manage to get even worse? Biblical terms I expect, with newspapers printed on papyrus and handed out by people dressed up like characters from The Life of Brian.
So. Is Britain in a recession, on the brink of a recession or nowhere near a recession? I’m confused because using the word recession nowadays is a bit like the theatrical folk with the word ‘Macbeth’. For ages nobody was prepared to admit there might be a recession. Then they finally admitted there could be a recession. Later, I thought, that Scottish idiot and most of the rest of the country concluded that Britain was already in a recession. Yet today there are articles claiming that Britain is actually only on the brink of a recession. The article states that the economy shrank in Q3, the first time in 16 years, and Britain would be technically in a recession if it falls again in Q4. Well roll on Q4 is all I can say! Anyone who thinks the economy will stabilize or grow in Q4 is nutty as a fruit cake so Britain’s recession is a foregone conclusion. Just a pity we have to wait so long before the media can stop beating around the bush!