Would a private jet be any better?

As mentioned earlier, we’re just back from our latest short UK trip and this time we flew with bmibaby from Warsaw to East Midlands.

bmibaby

Zosia was very excited by the yellow buses at the other end.

On the flight back, as a way of calming myself down from the ‘patronisment’ I had just received from the plane-waitress-cum-cleaner who ejected me from the forward bog and directed me all the way to the back of the plane with one of those “well that’s why we put the curtains around…” (so the captain and us waitresses can take a pee in our own private toilet), I got to thinking about just how lucky we are to have our start and finish destinations so close to airports with a direct link. From our apartment to Warsaw airport takes around 30-40 minutes on average and from East Midlands to my parents must be about the same. So, given that the only advantages would be not having to put up with snotty plane-tea-ladies, saving perhaps an hour each end on the whole check-in routine and having a more comfortable seat, we’ve decided not to buy our own private jet this year!

Having always lived within reasonable striking distance of a decent airport, I do take it for granted nowadays. How grim must it be to live in the middle-of-nowhere Poland and be travelling to the middle-of-nowhere England. What would that be; Kalisz or Białystock to Keswick or Barnstaple? Hours driving to get to the airport and then more hours driving when you land. No thanks.

Smelly flight-conductor aside, bmibaby did a god job. Far better than Easyjet and for as long as they keep the route and the prices, we’ll be sticking with them in future whenever going ooop North to see the family. When doing London, I think we might stick with BA to Heathrow. They’re the ones with the really stuck-up safety-demonstrators!

One amusing incident was reading the bmibaby in-flight magazine, the snappily named “Yeah Baby”. They had a section giving the highlights of each destination they serve so I read the one on Warsaw. Here’s what Joanna Koper of the Warsaw Tourist Office gave as her three reasons to go to Warsaw:

  1. Staroswiecki Sklep – (8 Szpitalna street) a Wedel hot chocolate cafe.
  2. Motorisation & Technology museum in Otrębusy. Located 10 minutes from Warsaw (LIE LIE LIE!) this pistonhead’s playground………….I can’t go on.
  3. Biała Flota boat trips – on the Vistula……..the one with all the sewage and nothing to see!

Whatever drugs Ms Koper is on must be very seriously hallucinogenic to have come up with that list!

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6 thoughts on “Would a private jet be any better?

  1. Hey, I live in the middle-of-nowhere Poland! Can it mean I have to buy me a private jet to see Warsaw?
    (By the way, months of hunting shopped furniture past me, I bought a bespoke under-telly. Cruelly expensive. Which reminds me: Ms Koper’s drug’s name is money.)

  2. Darth, surely you jest? I know you already HAVE a private jet. You’re thinking of getting another?

    Getting from middle-of-nowhere Poland, to edge-of-somewhere Poland is always easier than m-o-n Poland to m-o-n in another kraj, wiesz? For example, trains might work.

    Koper. Very probably. Root of all evil.

  3. Getting from my m-o-n to a trainsite would take some 2 hours (a 50 min bus ride from m-o-n to the town, then a 20 min tram ride from to the city, plus all times in waiting).

    When moving from my m-o-n to London, I spent
    = less time in the air than in airport crowd
    = less time in crowd than in transit to crowd
    = less time in transit to airport crowd than everyday if-not-by-car commuting to work.

    Surely I je(s)t not. True, I have a private jet. But my private jetffeur dumped me for Ireland. (Or was it Warsaw?) Well. People. Root of all evil.

  4. My goodness, you really are in the m-o-n! Must be nice and quiet though, lots of wildlife.

    By the way, I’m very envious of your bespoke under-telly!

  5. Otrębusy ten minutes from Warsaw? Surely two hours and ten minutes from Warsaw! Ten minutes down Al. Jerozolimskie will see you from ul. Żelazna all the way to Pl. Zawiszy.

    Polish mania for translating addresses literally: 8 Szpitalna street, for example. Brits do not translate Bahnhoffstrasse as Bahnhoff Street, nor Rue St. Germain as St. Germain Road. So, Ms Koper and everyone else with a mania for showing us native speakers that they know that ‘ulica’ means ‘street’ – stick to ‘ul. Szpitalna’ please.

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