Slapped me in the face like a wet kipper! The instant we stepped out of the arrivals hall into the English cloud-drizzle I was faced with one example of the very essence of why I’m never going back:
In the good old days it was called the “Post Office” and it did what it said on the tin, it delivered post. On the whole it did a good job with cheery ‘Posties’ braving all weathers to shove stuff through your letterbox at 5 in the morning. If you needed to buy a stamp or whatever there was a very cute Post Office in every village and high street in the land run, orginally, by a Miss Marple type and latterly by an Asian version of the same but all very nice friendly people. It was truly a British Institution and something to be proud of.
Then some businessmen came along and money got involved and it all went tits up! Some time ago they had the world record for the biggest rebranding farce in history when they decided to call it “Consignia”, not too long after my old company, Grand Metropolitan, decided to call itself “Diageo”! Was there something in the water around that time, was there a rampant alien name generator that exercised strange powers over heads of enterprise? Anyway, a few marketing/brand gurus got very rich and a lot of people got stupid sounding companies.
So, having ditched the Consignia idea they went back to ‘Post Office’ but unknown to me, until this trip, they have decided to add themselves a tag-line of “delivering value”. What does that mean exactly? This is just one of those vacuous collections of letters and words that people insist in splattering all over the planet because they think they have to go a little bit further than is advisable.
STOP IT! NOW!