Need a less stressful career?

Ace reporter, Chloe Dowley, gives some tips on which careers you should be following to enjoy life, be less stressed and that will give you more freedom, creativity & personal satisfaction. I found the list rather strange.

  1. Accountant“a balanced profit and loss sheet can offer a restful escape from the stress of complex office politics.”. Yes indeedy folks, just think of the satisfaction you’ll get from balancing those books! Accountancy is full of freedom. All this talk of month end, year end, putting together next years plan, paying the staff on time, sending enough money to the taxman, the VAT lady, chasing bad debt, paying invoices and all that, it’s just a load of hogwash! In accountancy, you are free as a bird! Your time is your own and you can do what you like, when you like. No stress either, miss a few of these deadlines and nobody is likely to notice. As for creativity, those numbers are just for guidance purposes, you can play with them how you like.
  2. Preschool Teacher“you can make up for that lost sleep when your students enjoy their post-lunchtime naps.”. That’s providing you’re not teaching somebody like my daughter who hardly ever slept during the day, also providing you’re able to fall asleep yourself at the drop of a hat mid-afternoon and lastly that you’re able to watch over the kids while you’re sleeping. Why would you be short of sleep anyway? No homework to set or mark and probably finish your working day at a reasonable time. All that shopping after work, perhaps? Would you be getting paid enough to go shopping? I’m sure this can be a creative and satisfying occupation but where’s the freedom? Tied all day long to a bunch of snotty Herberts, most of whom are just dying to do something really stupid and injure themselves or another kid. Can you imagine the lawsuits if you fail to notice little Johnny poking princess Jade’s eye out with the Transformer’s rocket launcher?
  3. Nursing Assistant“delivers the feel-good perks of a medical career without the stress of med school or week ends on-call.”. Chloe obviously has experience of Poland to be able to deliver this line. The feel-good perks presumably being the cash paid by relatives of patients in the hope of encouraging you to do your job properly? Freedom – very little I would have thought. Patients are going to need whatever they need whenever they need it and you’re ‘supposed’ to react at that time. Creativity? Experimenting to see what happens when you give the wrong drugs, perhaps? Seeing how long Mrs X can go without a wash or a toilet?
  4. Financial Planner“Though spending your own money can produce high levels of anxiety, helping others manage their funds can be just the opposite.”. You see, this is why we have a credit crunch. I’m having difficulty typing while I’m laughing so much.
  5. Massage Therapist / Physical Therapy Assistant “if you incorporate some of these exercises into your own daily routine, you could have a recipe for a tension-free workday.”. I think her general thrust here is that you should give yourself massages in-between clients. Were you an Orang Utan, very strong and with very long arms, that might be possible but then you’d also look extremely cute, like this and you wouldn’t need to work for a living anyway because some German nature lover would buy you a forest and loads of food and stuff:
  6. Orang Utan

  7. Pastry Chef“It’s hard to get stressed when your office smells of butter, sugar, and cinnamon.”. Hmmm, but what about when the head chef is screaming at you because the cakes you made at 05:00 this morning taste like “@#$%^&*!!!!”? Anyway, I shall try smearing my desk with those ingredients today and see if it helps. Might work best if I smear them all over my computer screen.
  8. Graphic Design“Working for yourself can give you a tremendous amount of flexibility”. I think she might have been able to pull this one off. Graphic design probably does tick all the boxes, unless in a high pressure marketing environment, which probably accounts for a large percentage of jobs. Still, she’s ignored all the really good points and picked on the flexibility of being self employed and how you can balance your home and work life, which could apply to plumbery and a thousand other jobs too. All very well until there are bills to be paid, then the home life tends to take a back seat to earning money!
  9. Desktop Support“computer support specialists use their expertise to help the rest of us deal with the stress of malfunctioning technology”. I can see why she gave up after only eight careers. By this point she realised that she’d lost the plot a long time ago and decided to stop digging. Tied to a phone helping techno-morons work out how to switch on the computer. Is that your idea of a satisfying and creative career with a lot of freedom? I thought not!

8 thoughts on “Need a less stressful career?

  1. As a Massage Therapist, every time a client says to me: who massages you? or how many times do you get a massage? I want to weep. I never get enough, and they do not pay close enough attention to my treatment to ‘return the favour’. At least I can relax people into oblivion. Orangutan arms would save a lot of trips around the massage table, though. What an image!

  2. Vanessa, thanks for the comment! I’m really sorry for your predicament, what’s worse is that that’s exactly the kind of inane comment I’d make!

    I think you need to get more assertive with your fellow masseuses! (is that the plural of masseuse??)

  3. You’re a dumbass!

    Desktop Support is not a low stress job… Go try it.

    I know writers have to write something to make a living but spew some random bullshit we can pretend to believe.

  4. Raymond, thanks for the contribution, you sort of amplify my point.

    I’m assuming your comments are aimed at the person who included “desktop support” in her list of low stress careers and not myself? Because I certainly don’t make a living at this! :)

  5. I found this when I googled trying to find an email for Chloe D. so I could tell here how stupid she is. I just read an article she wrote on 8 jobs that are growing in next 10 years or so. One she listed was elementary school teacher; she wrote that you only need a BA from an accredited program, get “mandatory recess” and some other crap that makes it sound super-easy. I’m working in a 2nd grade room right now, part of a mandatory 40-hours for the GRADUATE program I am in to earn my STATE TEACHING CERTIFICATION, because you’re not going to get hired without it, and you need more than a BA to get it (my program is an additional 12 courses, at the graduate level, and after 5 years of teaching you need to basically get a master’s in order to get your professional level license). While the kids are at their 10-minute morning recess (Chloe seriously thinks the teachers go out to play?), I help their totally stressed out teacher make photocopies, she answers emails and plans lessons. She’s stressed because of budget cuts, there are 25 kids in her class all day. Among those are kids on IEPs, who required additional planning/attention. She wolfs down her lunch in 30 minutes while the kids are at their lunch. And guess what? There is NO shortage of elementary teachers, Chloe. There is a huge overabundance of them in many states. Our school district has received 450+ resumes for 10 openings for the ’08-09 school year. The shortages are in areas like math, sped, etc . Do your research, Chloe, and get a clue.

  6. This is true bull shit. You’re not doing anyone any favors by leaving it up on your site. This is now up on Yahoo’s front page, which speaks volumes about the lack of journalistic substance for Yahoo. I’m also looking for her email address to tell her if she’s going to be a writer to not waste her reader’s time with this drivel. Every one of those jobs can and are very high stress job situations. Try to be a graphic artist today where multiple client contacts give you no time to do complex work and then want multiple changes. Or to be a teacher where hundreds are getting pink slips, or an accountant where every digit you type into a spreadsheet has to be accurate, not to mention the over-the-top pressures of tax season.

    Take that down!

  7. I completely agree with your assessment of the “stress free” careers written about by Chloe Dowley last year…the fact that it is still up on the Yahoo site is pretty sad!

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