On a recent trip to London, my wife bought a bracelet from this place in the Carnaby Street area, fortunately it had a pretty cute blue shopfront so I took a picture of it:
On returning home she explained that she also liked the black bracelet (she bought a white one). So, I found the shop on-line and ordered the black one to be delivered to Warsaw. Delivery cost was more than the bracelet! I waited a while, nothing turned up. I waited a while longer, still nothing. I contacted the shop, they explained it had been sent parcel post to home address.
Here’s the point.
If you live in Warsaw, possibly Poland, never and I mean NEVER have any parcels delivered to home. Why? Because they never arrive. This is the last in a long line of Warsaw-bound ‘Burmuda Triangle’ parcels that were supposed to arrive here, but never did. Post, as in letters, works extremely well, better than you might think. Something posted in the UK will get here in perhaps two days, four max. Parcels posted to my office also work extremely well but parcels to home – poof! Vanished! No parcel, no note saying “come and get your parcel”, nothing left at the security guard kennel, nothing, nowhere, nada.
My theory is that a certain group of postal workers, those responsible for parcels to Żoliborz, are doing very nicely, thank you very much. I did have an incident many years ago when I was overdosing on Amazon.co.uk. For a while things were actually arriving but then they stopped. I received an invitation to visit the parcel ‘sorting office’, a vast warehouse full of my missing stuff. Some kind people explained how I should have been paying VAT, import duty, customs stamps, window tax, premium rate parcel tax, DVD extra tax, book tax and assorted other things that added up to double the gross domestic product of Andorra.
GDP = consumption + investment + (government spending) + (exports − imports), or, GDP x 2 = cost of importing a few DVDs and books to Warsaw
I paid what was due, hired a truck and took my stuff home vowing never to do this again. It has never been the same since. Since those early halcyon days of parcel-arrival, I don’t think a parcel has ever been successfully delivered. I wondered if perhaps I was on a black-list somewhere, marked down as an “enemy of the state – nil by parcel”, until my wife had a similar incident recently with a book delivered within Warsaw. Admittedly, hers did not go missing completely but it did take five attempts to get it here. Perhaps because she shares the same surname she is marked as “possible troublemaker – parcel complications”.
I don’t have much delivered these days and if I do (with the exception of Anna Lou), I have it delivered to the office. It works just fine. I shan’t give the address or they will trace me and put a stop to that too!